In this new travel series so(u)litude, I reflect on my nourishing adventures alone in the world, and the treasures of wisdom that I’ve collected along the way.
I couldn’t find the light on the first dawn of the new year.
A threatening storm cloud had emerged, and my emotions were darkening. For hours, I stayed in bed with the curtains drawn in a state of melancholy. I allowed myself to explore these intense moods, writing stream-of-consciousness style in my journal to alleviate the heaviness.
Then, it was time to take back control.
I am continuously reminded of a quote from Anaïs Nin’s diary: “Touched bottom again. Decided to liberate myself. We are never trapped unless we choose to be.”
It awakens me to the power we have to initiate a change at any instant; to shift our mentality and move our bodies in a direction that is more empowering. Ah, the simple act of inviting the light in through the window can be enough at times. But on this particular day, a change of scenery was vital.
Determined to arrive before sunset, I headed to Sarasota, Florida. During the serene hour-long drive on the expansive road surrounded by palm trees and the soothing sea, my burdens lifted with ease as the sun shared its light generously. I could feel the beauty of life opening itself back up to me, its arms unfolding as I embraced the remainder of the day and a new adventure.
Edging closer to Siesta Key beach, I passed through a street serendipitously named Solitude Lane. I had been yearning for these gentle days alone; I needed to quiet the mind and listen. There was so much listening to do.
I was far from alone at the beach, but I welcomed the buzzing sound of crowds. This slice in time that we were all sharing together yet separately was fleeting, and these hundreds of unique faces would fade like dreams. I watched people play frisbee and beach volleyball, friends celebrate the new year with wine, and teenagers surf the mild waves. In the distance, I could hear the steady thumping of a drum circle. Everywhere, there was laughter. Joy seemed effortless in a place like this.
Two meticulously crafted sandcastles bonded us all together as we praised the unknown visionaries. So much to witness in our shared humanity. Eventually the sea would reclaim this masterful art as its own, with the same unwavering force that has washed away every footprint that holds within it a story of their presence in the history of the world.
I had to go to the ocean to remind myself of the beating pulse of life.
“This is an interesting planet. It deserves all the attention you can give it,” I read in Gilead, a book I had chosen to begin in perfect timing. There is so much about the unfathomable splendor of existence within these pages. So many musings about light in all of its forms. It is a reflective ode to the miraculous nature of creation.
“Wherever you turn your eyes the world can shine like transfiguration. You don’t have to bring a thing to it except a little willingness to see.” —Gilead, Marilynne Robinson
As I read, the sunlight began to paint the pages with a spectacular glow. It was sunset hour, and gold seeped through everything. Mesmerized by this dynamic dance of color and light, I let myself become luminous as I coalesced with the divine.
I couldn’t find the light on the first dawn of the new year, but I found it right before dusk, brilliant and radiant.
Still, in moments where the light evades me and I don’t have the stamina to seek it out, I will remember that I can generate it from within, too. This year and beyond, I will collect my light in little jars to store for the darker days. And I will share it with everyone, leaving traces of glowing specks everywhere—the soul’s infinite gold—as a reminder of our true essence.
We are of the same light. Remember, remember. Happy New Year ♡
𖤓 How do you restore your light when the world and/or your emotions are overcome by darkness?
𖤓 In which areas of your life are you craving more light?
𖤓 This year, how will you share your unique light with others?
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So many gems in this piece, I’m grateful to have landed here. I especially love this quote and will be returning to it as a personal prompt for less bright days “This is an interesting planet. It deserves all the attention you can give it,” I read in Gilead, a book I had chosen to begin in perfect timing. There is so much about the unfathomable splendor of existence within these pages. So many musings about light in all of its forms. It is a reflective ode to the miraculous nature of creation. “
I find the sound of crashing waves resets my mind, heart, and ears in a way that allows so much clarity. Looking forward to more in the series, Ayanna. Thanks for sharing.